The Chaos, Confusion, and Conflicting Nature of Taylor Swift’s Eleventh Album: The Tortured Poets Department

The spring of 2023 was an interesting time to be a Taylor Swift fan. For starters, just a few shows into the massively successful Eras Tour, it was announced that Swift and her longtime partner, Joe Alwyn, had broken up after six years of dating: an announcement that sent shockwaves throughout the fandom, ultimately providing even more fodder for gossip columns and die-hard Swifties to fixate on.

Seemingly overnight, thousands of TikToks began circulating. Self-proclaimed Swiftie experts began to re-examine previously-released songs, lyrics, and Easter Eggs that could have provided a crumb of a clue that there was trouble in paradise. 

It’s important to note that the first several weeks of the Eras Tour was basically being documented in real time online and in the press for its undeniable effect on popular culture, business, and the American economy. On the tour’s opening night in Glendale, Arizona, the concert brought in more revenue for local businesses than Super Bowl LVII: a statistic that is absolutely imperative to keep in mind when it comes to the unwarranted hate Swift received from NFL fans when she started appearing at games in support of her new beau, Travis Kelce (insert side-eye emoji here).

By the end of 2023, the first 60 shows became the first ever tour in history to make over one billion dollars. Additionally, it’s projected to generate close to five billion in consumer spending in the US alone. 

With all of that being said, it’s pretty apparent that Taylor Swift has been at the forefront of popular conversation for the last year and will continue to be well into 2024. In the last year and some change, fans have had plenty of material to keep them fed: the launch of The Eras Tour, Taylor and Joe’s breakup, a brief stint with The 1975’s Matty Healy, the launch of Tayvis (Travis and Taylor’s couple name), the 2024 Grammys, the album announcement and its subsequent release. Oh, and this doesn’t even include all of the times Taylor and Travis were spotted together: the dozens of football games Swift attended (including the Super Bowl) AND the metaphorical bomb drop that came with the realization that a 31-long song project ended up being (primarily) about a relationship that 99% of people didn’t realize even existed. 

I find it important to mention here that considering the fact that I’ve been a fan of Taylor’s for over half of my time on earth, I cannot be unbiased when it comes to anything relating to her. I have too many emotions attached to her career and her music, and how they intertwine with my own life experiences. However, as I’ve gotten older and my understanding of the world has become more nuanced, I try to make my perspectives on the things I invest emotions into to be nuanced as well: a concept that I find to be lacking heavily when it comes to much of the discourse surrounding Taylor Swift: whether it’s coming from her own fans, casual listeners, critics, or her peers. 

I feel the need to state this at the top because that’s how I am trying to go into the rest of this story with: an incredibly nuanced perspective. When it comes to growing up and having more life experiences, I’ve come to the conclusion that nothing is ever black and white: there’s rarely a clear “right” or “wrong,” “yes” or “no,” “good” or “bad” take on anything: even more so when it comes to art.

So as I sit here less than 72 hours after a 31-long song project has been released into the world by my absolute favorite creative mind on the planet, I struggle with fully coming to terms with a fully formed opinion on The Tortured Poets Department: and maybe that’s just the entire point.  

Like I’ve already hinted at in this post, I’d say that the majority of Taylor Swift fans went into The Tortured Poets Department with the assumption that it would be a complete obliteration of Alwyn. It was revealed online that he was apart of a group chat with Paul Mescal and Andrew Scott titled the ‘Tortured Man Club.’ Rumors began circulating that Alwyn had cheated on Swift with a co-star. Previously-released tracks from Folklore were re-interpreted as songs about Alwyn cheating. The takes, which were often baseless in nature, were brutal, aggressive, and ignorant: traits that many fans that participate in Stan culture tend to have, regardless of the fandom they belong to.

I can’t help but at least question that the whiplash consumers experienced during their first listen of TTPD impacted the way they felt about the project: many lifelong Swifties go into album rollouts fully understanding what they’re about to find out when it comes to decoding the meanings behind Swift’s songs. I for one, can say that trying to unravel the two hour, two minute project sonically and lyrically is difficult enough: the additional element of interpreting what the songs are about from an emotional standpoint, something that fans of Swifts’ are very much known to do, adds a layer of complexity that I haven’t seen being discussed about much when it comes to the reception of the album thus far.

I initially was planning to write about all of the songs, but that would be an impossible feat and way too long of a story for anyone in their right minds to want to read. So after some debating, I landed on writing about eight of the songs I feel like I have the most to say about. This doesn’t necessarily mean these are my favorite songs, but I do like them all.

“Fortnight”

The stage was set for this album as soon as Taylor, who spent the first half of her career claiming she did not drink alcohol, mentions that she was a “functioning alcoholic.” I definitely like this song but I don’t agree with it as the choice for the lead single. But that’s nothing new: I have rarely agreed with Taylor’s choices for the lead single (minus “Anti-Hero,” a rare correct decision in that department: pun intended).

As someone who’s chronically online, more now than ever since this album rollout started, I’ve heard rumblings that The 1975 was going to be/could have been the duet partner on this song before shit hit the fan, and I am choosing to believe in that conspiracy theory. I can hear Matty’s vocals on the song clearly in my head as much as I hear Post Malone’s, and the production is definitely similar to what we’ve heard from The 1975. It’s also important to note that fans have found elements from the music video to mirror some things from The 1975’s visuals across their discography and tours. Also: the line “run into you sometimes, ask about the weather” is a glaringly loud reference to the times we’ve seen Swift and Healy interact in public over the last decade.

My issue with this song is I find a bit of the chorus confusing to follow: when has this person turned into her neighbor and why does she want to kill his wife? I guess I can see this as “you’re going to be three degrees away from me for the rest of my life and it will always bother me” but I feel like that’s a bit of a stretch and could have been represented clearer.

“The Tortured Poets Department”

I wish this was the opening track on the album and I’d like to understand why it was second and not first. To reference many peoples’ critiques about the production being overdone by Antonoff: I actually found the choices on this song to be really interesting sonically and though it has Antonoff’s name all over it, it just works for me. Anything heavier or darker would have taken away from the lightness and tongue-in-cheek of it all, despite it, in general, being quite sad.

The Easter eggs in this track are LOUD: especially for the 1975 fans in the room. “Bars of chocolate” is clearly a reference to not only smoking weed, but The 1975’s song “Chocolate,” which is in fact, a euphemism for weed. I also find the Charlie Puth lyric to be hilarious and quite a realistic conversation that two lovers would have while they’re both stoned. I question how this isn’t being interpreted as such. I find it so funny and honestly, quite relatable. BUT I do hate the “tattooed golden retriever line.” Taylor: you can absolutely do better.

This track starts to show the cracks in the relationship/situationship/whatever you want to call it. Being told by a friend (s/o Lucy Dacus) that your partner said they’d kill themselves if you left them is probably one of the most manipulating things you can do to a person and I could write an entire essay on this alone. We’ll see more of his manipulative tendencies explored throughout the rest of the album.

The reference of an engagement ring absolutely crushed me. “It’s the closest I’ve come to my heart exploding.” So you never felt that way with the person you were with for six years? Someone check on Joe Alwyn ASAP.

“Down Bad“

It’s hilarious to me that Taylor mentions people saying she “puts narcotics in her songs” in the one song I find to be the absolute WORST song on the album, but I won’t be commenting on that any further! However, she’s absolutely NOT wrong: she puts something in her music that gets me completely addicted. And I think the general public agrees with me when it comes to “Down Bad,” currently the second most streamed song on the album out of a whopping 31 tracks, taking second place only to the lead single (“Fortnight”).

After I heard the opening verse and chorus for the first time, I was instantly upset it wasn’t chosen for the lead single: it’s so funny, honest, heartbreaking, and relatable. Who hasn’t cried over a breakup at the gym? Who hasn’t related to feeling like “teenage petulance” as an adult when they don’t get what they want?! I’m absolutely obsessed with this song.

Something I really admire about this album is I feel like Taylor’s trying to tell everyone, her fans specifically, so stop putting her on this pedestal of perfection, as a person who can never do wrong. Throughout this album, she is putting that idea on its head, mentioning multiple times that she’s selfish, depressed and wants to die, that she’s crying, only eating kids’ cereal and sleeping in her mom’s bed. Isn’t that what everyone has wanted from her for years? To stop putting on the facade that she’s perfect, angelic, and never makes a wrong move?

“So Long, London“

Speaking of some of the rumblings I’ve read on the internet, I guess there has been some back and forth about whether or not “So Long, London” deserves the highly popular ‘Track 5’ slot. For those of you who are new here, Swift has been giving the saddest song from each of her albums the 5th spot on her albums since, well, forever, I guess. While there are certainly songs on TTPD that could have been at number five, like “loml” or “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived,” I find “So Long, London” to be the correct choice to get this slot.

I’ve had to sift through the years of Swift lore to explain a few concepts to my friends who are casual fans of Swift’s over the past few days. One concept I’ve thought long and hard about is that the dissolution of Swift’s relationship with Alwyn made her incredibly sad and heartbroken that they couldn’t make it work after years of trying, and that her relationship with Healy made her angry. Of course, like I’ve been saying this entire story, nothing is ever just ONE thing! I’m sure she felt both sad and angry towards both of these men, but I feel like her wrath is pointed much closer to Healy on this album more than it is Joe. With that being said, I think “So Long, London” is probably the deepest and most intense ‘goodbye’ on the album.

In just under four and a half minutes, I feel like I understand their relationship better than I ever did when it was active. That Taylor found solace, comfort, and peace when she first met Joe: the ability to run away from her problems at the most damaging point of her career, when she faced so much backlash, the only thing she felt like she could do to avoid it was to disappear altogether. I can imagine that being one of, if not the biggest pop star in the world, is already incredibly anxiety-inducing: constantly being in the public eye and critiqued for breathing is hard enough, but pursuing a relationship is basically impossible.

It felt like a true love story for Swift, who documented this time in her life quite vividly in reputation, that she was able to be “saved” by escaping. Ironically, escaping is exactly what ended up killing their relationship completely (Note: please reference the opening of this song sounding identical to “Call It What You Want.” It’s no coincidence).

I could write about this song for one million more years, and I find the bridge to be absolutely soul-crushing in the best way possible, but this post is already long enough. Nobody can change my opinion that this is the saddest song on the album, and that it’s an incredible high point for Taylor’s career as a lyricist and storyteller.

“But Daddy I Love Him“

I’ll admit that during my first listen of the album, hearing a song that is so different sonically compared to the five that came before it was an unbelievably jarring moment for me: so much so that I was struggling to comprehend what I was hearing. I feel like the first five tracks off TTPD are so completely in sync with each other, to hear a song that sounds like early Taylor Swift caught me off guard. But after several listens, this song is probably my favorite off the entire project, or at least in the top three.

For those of us deep in the fandom, we know that there was a very specific ~sect~ of Taylor fans who were actively campaigning for Miss Swift to dump Matty Healy, so much so that it seemed like their “online activism” actually worked. #SpeakUpNow was trending last spring amidst the couple rekindling their flame, inspiring think pieces to be written about how Stan culture often goes too far.

I personally found that this newfound relationship just had to be a PR stunt or a completely made up rumor, considering Swift has spent so much of her career hyperfixated on her public image and her ability to control it. Looking back now, it’s quite funny and jarring to realize that she was on track to release an album that was primarily about the person who I never imagined her publicly admitting she had a crush on, and loved.

With that being said, we will likely never know what really happened to cause Healy and Swift’s breakup, but from the lyrics in “But Daddy I Love Him” seem to insinuate that the pressure from the “judgmental creeps” who are supposed to love Swift the most did in fact end up impacting their relationship. “But Daddy I Love Him” is a rare look at how Swift feels about her most dedicated of fans, who often become deeply invasive and even act inappropriate towards their so-called idol.

It’s a tough listen for those who partook in the #SpeakUpNow debacle last spring, but the rest of the fans, (probably the ones over 25-years-old, like myself) likely found the song to be quite clever, a “break the fourth wall” moment that is very much a highlight from the album. It’s the older, neurotic sister to “Love Story,” the cousin of “Ours,” with more edge and less patience. If my parents and a bundle of old, white male executives gathered me into a room and told me to dump the person I believed to be the love of my life, I’d be pissed, too.

“The Black Dog“

The first thing I thought after listening to about twenty seconds of this song is “Oh, old Taylor is not dead: she is very much alive and well.” We already saw a glimpse of Taylor’s younger years on “But Daddy I Love Him,” but I feel like the storytelling in “The Black Dog” is as apparent as BDILH, just with a more refined, less country sound.

I’ve had so many thoughts on this album, as you have very much already found out, and another one that will be lingering in my mind forever is how Taylor decided to structure this project and why some songs were included on side a over side b. Since the entire album wasn’t released at once, it’s hard for me to hear The Anthology version and not feel like they were bonus tracks or additions to the first side. So why wasn’t “The Black Dog” included in the first half?!?! Cause I personally think it’s one of the best.

I would argue that more people than not have experienced the anxiety of a toxic relationship causing you to follow your significant other/friend with benefits/whatever you want to call it on on the ‘Find My Friends’ app, and Miss Swift is certainly no exception. “The Black Dog” opens with her admitting to watching her muse “walk into The Black Dog,” which is a real bar in London that is now getting an incredible amount of business.

If you read these lyrics carefully and follow the breadcrumbs that Swift leaves throughout this album, you’ve likely already pieced together that this song is about Matt Healy: starting with the call out to the pop punk band The Starting Line—whose song The 1975 covered during a tour stop in New Zealand back in April 2023.

Back to the “I don’t understand how people say this album doesn’t have deep lyrics” tirade I’ve been on: have you listened to this song? I find that Swift is expressing deep, deep anger towards Healy in this song for selling her an idea that he couldn’t actually pay for.

“And all of those best laid plans / You said I needed a brave man / Then proceeded to play him / Until I believed it too”

and

“Six weeks of breathing clean air / I still miss the smoke / Were you making fun of me with some esoteric joke? / Now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes / And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons / Even if I die screaming / And I hope you hear it”

Coming from someone who’s had experience with a similar concept in a previous relationship, I very much relate to the emotions Swift expresses throughout this song.

“So High School“

Before the album dropped, someone asked me if I thought there would be any songs about Travis on TTPD and I said, with absolute 100% confidence, “no.” So when someone tries to tell you that Taylor Swift is predictable, let them know that I, a fan for 15+ years, was bamboozled (as if that already wasn’t evident by this album’s subject matter).

“So High School” is one of my standout tracks on TTPD because of it’s light-heartedness and how that is a clear juxtaposition compared to the rest of the album. The stakes are low, and I think that’s why it works so well. It paints the picture of two lovers allowing themselves to be completely enveloped in the pursuit of each other because their connection allows them to forget about all of the previous times where they were hurt. I personally think it’s a completely new level of safety for Swift that she’s never felt pursuing a romantic relationship while being in the public eye. Like they’re in high school and don’t have to worry about the heaviness of real life. I think this song shows that Travis is giving Taylor back the feeling of being young and in love: the youth she sings about “giving away for free” during her relationship with Alwyn.

And we haven’t even gotten to the sonic and lyrical elements of the song! I’ve always wished deep down that Taylor would attempt to go the indie route, and based on the reception of the song, I hope she revisits this sound more distinctly in future releases across multiple songs. The muffled guitars and low, airy vocals give it an early 2000s feeling of nostalgia and yearning for youth: a theme that, again, we see Swift revisit across this album.

Lines like “you know how to ball, I know Aristotle” and “touch me while your boys play Grand Theft Auto” are such clear examples of Taylor showcasing how her relationship with Travis feels easy, goofy, and stress-free: I have a hard time understanding how these lyrics aren’t being interpreted as such: there’s such a distinct difference in when Taylor is attempting to say something deep vs. her choices to write endearingly.

“The Bolter”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I absolutely love when Taylor writes self-deprecating lyrics. I find “The Bolter” to be a self-examination of Taylor reflecting on all of the times in her life where, for better or worse, she decides to be spontaneous, (cough cough, meeting Tom Hiddleston at The Met Gala—a reference to this song), starts a fling with someone who catches feelings, and immediately bolts.

I find a lot of lyrical similarities between this song and ones like “Blank Space” and “I Did Something Bad,” where Swift writes about her own treatment of her romantic pursuits in a more negative, almost manipulative way: “love’s a game, wanna play?” and “playing them like a violin.” Was there truth to those songs all along? My guess is, probably.

“He was a cad, wanted her bad / Just like any good trophy hunter / And she likes the way it tastes / Taming a bear, making him care”

She’s describing how she feels the most alive at the most dangerous of moments: the opening lyrics describe her (or the subject of the song) almost drowning as a six-year-old, which made her “a curious child, ever reviled” with “a quite bewitching face, splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless, excellent fun ’til you get to know her.” If this isn’t a reference to how she feels about her present day self and the way that the public has viewed her throughout the entirety of her career, I don’t know what it is. And I love every second of it.

When it comes to having a nuanced perspective on TTPD, I believe a number of things can be true at the same time. For starters, I think that the creation of this album was an emotional release for Swift. I think it was inspired by a very tumultuous time in her life: coming to terms with the slow demise of a relationship that overtook her life completely, changing the trajectory of her career, then having to process the aftermath on the most public stage of her life thus far: literally and figuratively.

This doesn’t even mention the supposed reconnection she made with Healy, who, by what I understand from the album, came back into her life while she was in an incredibly fragile state, able to be taken advantaged of romantically, and swept away by a person who was (apparently) pining for her on and off for the last decade. TTPD is about Swift finally looking at herself in the mirror, something we saw her start to explore more on “Anti-Hero,” and accepting the idea of showing a more unhinged, more authentically messy, and less polished version of herself to the public that she was comfortable with over the many years of her career.

I find some of these lyrics to be the most honest, the most intrepid, the most haunting she’s ever released: a concept that again, I’m not seeing discussed as much as I think it should be. On the other side of the coin, I think that mostly everything Swift does has an agenda behind it: one that involves breaking records, making money, and outdoing herself in every avenue she can. She is a capitalistic queen. For someone who doesn’t believe that billionaires should exist, this is hard for me to accept and be comfortable with.

After the success of folklore and evermore, the 3am Midnights tracks, the re-recordings and their subsequent “Vault Tracks,” it was apparent to her team that fans were eager to receive as much content as possible: and in my opinion, from the fans’ perspective, the quality became an after thought. While my opinion on Taylor’s inability to edit down her albums has always been at the forefront of my processing, I am leaning towards being in the camp that I will take all of the music that she is willing to release, even if it may not all be up to par. And again, I haven’t always felt that way. It’s an opinion I still actively wrestle with.

With that being said, I fully believe that Swift thinks that all 31 of the tracks on TTPD are worthy of being released because they represent this time in her life where she was living in chaos. That the creation and release of this album was a cathartic experience for her. I support that decision, but I can simultaneously critique the songs individually and walk away from them with the opinion that several of them are not her best work or even good work (again, my opinion). However, there are songs on this project that are some of her best, and will become classics in her discography as well.

It also happens that fans are willing to listen to that many songs from her: that they’re willing to buy the album variants, to buy the merch and continue talking about her. That she will get the Spotify streams, the spots on the Top 200, the segment in the podcasts. Is it so impossible to think that both of these things can be true?

A nice infographic I made so my opinions on all of the songs would be represented. Note: these thoughts WILL and likely have already changed since this posting. 🙂